Katie Holmes, Dealing with Divorce

When Katie Holmes sat down with Elle Magazine for her interview, she was only six weeks away from divorcing Tom Cruise. Even the most beautiful, famous women (like Katie Holmes) can’t avoid a marriage falling apart, but they can be prepared and according to Katie’s interview with Elle magazine she was! When Katie was asked about being Mrs. Tom Cruise, she responded confidently;

“He has been Tom Cruise for 30 years. I know who I am and where I am and where I want to go, so I want to focus on that.”

We all want to live an authentic life, so what happens when we are faced with the truth that our marriage is over? DO WE KNOW WHERE TO GO? What happens if we divorce as an expat in the UAE? We don’t want to think it will happen to us, but if we had some financial awareness in place, the experience could be less painful. It is VERY important for women to avoid financial fallout as well as marital breakup?

What financial steps do women need to take when going through a divorce?

Jean Chatzky’s Personal Finance Expert and host of Cash Call spoke to the Huffington Post and advised: “Any person needs to go through the process of figuring out what their new cash flow statement is and what that needs to look like. Whenever you go through something like this, you need to start fresh and you need to start looking at, ‘What am I going to have coming in?’, ‘What am I going to have going out?’ and ‘How can I sustain myself?’ That’s a matter of looking at not just your income, but also the assets that you take away from the marriage. The women who do it right don’t say, ‘I’m staying in my house because I have to – I just can’t imagine leaving it.’ They say, ‘I’m going to stay in my house because I can afford to.’”

Often women leave the financial housekeeping to their husbands during the marriage and only think to ask questions when it is too late.

Janelle Malone UAE Wealth Commentator agrees with Jean. “Whether single or in a relationship, women should always take responsibility for their financial plan. None of us can predict what the future holds, but we can make sure we’re prepared. Knowledge is power.”

So you’re happily married, but whether by a change of heart or a heartless fate, your circumstances change. What steps should you take to be protected?

1. PAY ATTENTION: Notice how your partner handles and spends his money. Financial infidelity is the secretive act of spending, holding secret accounts or incurring debt unknown to one’s spouse, partner. Don’t let it happen to you.
2. JOINT NAMES: Make sure all savings plans, wills and insurance poilicys are in joint names.
3. OWN BANK ACCOUNTS: Especially in the UAE have your own account and regular contributions to that account, even if it is a wage from your partner for housekeeping.
4. PROTECT YOU FAMILY: An untimely illness, accident or death can devastate your finances. If you depend on someone else’s income – especially if you have children – make sure you both carry adequate life, health and disability insurance. If you’re self-supporting, it’s particularly important to be covered against accidents or disability, since even a brief period without income could deplete your savings.
5. SETTLE DIVORCE IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY: When it comes to divorce, the UK has really wide jurisdiction. As long as you are, broadly speaking, domiciled or resident in the UK you can get divorced in UK courts, which is generally an equal division of assets. By divorcing through the UAE courts, claims to seek spousal maintenance would not be as straightforward and bank accounts which are not solely in your name could prove very difficult to access.’’
6. MAKE A WILL: Make sure you have your legal will in place and translated into Arabic. A will not translated is not legal in the UAE.
7. RETIREMENT: Take control of your retirement plan. Time is your biggest ally when it comes to retirement savings. Many divorced women today never planned for their retirement and they are the women who are now sadly retired in poverty.

You don’t think it is going to happen to you? Here is what Jennifer Aniston had to say about marriage when, shortly after her divorce from Brad Pitt, she sat down with Leslie Bennetts.

Even golden couples struggle with the formidable challenges of marriage. “It’s like the ebb and flow of every relationship,” Aniston says. “It’s hard; it gets easy; it gets fun again. What’s hard to sustain is some ideal that it’s perfect. That’s ridiculous. What’s fantastic about marriage is getting through those ebbs and flows with the same person, and looking across the room and saying, ‘I’m still here. And I still love you.’ You re-meet, reconnect. You have marriages within marriages within marriages. That’s what I love about marriage. That’s what I want in marriage. It’s unfortunate, but we live in a very disposable society. Those moments where it looks like ‘Uh-oh, this isn’t working!’—those are the most important, transformative moments. Most couples draw up divorce papers when they’re missing out on an amazing moment of deepening and enlightenment and connection.”

Jen has spoken beautifully of marriage and it has paid her rewards, this week she just announced the engagement to her new partner Justin Theroux and we wish her a lifetime of happiness and many more amazing moments.

The story goes… when one door closes another door opens. Dealing with divorce may mean the end of life as you know it; but it doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. We hope that Katie finds the same happy ending that Jen has found and for all the other women out there, take action today, play an active role in your financial life and tick off that checklist and you’ll be better off for it.

Samantha Armstrong wrote about a three tiered approach to Divorce in the UAE for Good Taste magazine. For the full article you can see it here http://goodtaste.ae/2012/04/11/divorced-and-depressed/